All families have rules for their kids. We get upset with our kids if they leave their shoes out or don’t clean their rooms. Most parents don’t approve if their child is disrespectful, talking back or being rude. Kids learn how to treat people by how the people around them are treating them. When my kids were being disrespectful, I looked back at my behavior. I realized that I was not being respectful to them. Are you breaking one of your own rules? Are you showing respect to your kids?
I was yelling at them to take out the trash or do their homework, but after I thought about it, I wasn’t treating them like I wanted to be treated. I noticed when I asked them to clean up the garage, I really wasn’t asking, I was telling them to do it, NOW! Asking and saying please is respectful and considerate and I was not doing that. I felt I was nagging them all the time because they weren’t getting up right when I asked.
- Now when I tell my son to take out the trash, I always let him know that he can do it when his show is over or just do it before he’s done playing outside. I would not want to be interrupted while I was watching my favorite show to take out the garage.
- When my kids get home from school, I don’t bombard them with chores and plans. I let them chill out a bit and have a snack first because I would not want to come home from work and immediately be told of more things I had to do.
- When my kids tell me they don’t want to put away their toys I look to see which toy they are talking about. I would not want to put up my dollhouse that took me thirty minutes to set up. I help them move their toy to a place that does not mess up all their hard work.
- Now, after dinner I ask them to please help me clear the table instead of, “Where are you going? You better help me tonight!”.
I’ve noticed when I am showing them respect in this way, most of the time, they return that respect and answer me in a nice and polite way. We still have our moments, but this really does make a difference.
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