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Are YOU holding your child back?

This week is our Spring break.  We are just sticking close to home this week, but we decided to take the kids skiing for the weekend.  It’s closing weekend here in North Carolina and the mountains are only a couple of hours away.  I have 2 boys and 1 daughter and they love being out there.  The boys tried skiing, but have really gotten into snowboarding.  My daughter is only 4 and she is on skis.  My husband usually goes out on the slopes with them.  I stay in the lodge, since my daughter is unpredictable on how long she stays out there…sometimes she will stay out 5 hours, while other days she will only stay 2.

Are you holding your child back?  I realized because I was scared I was stopping them from doing things they love and they could do on their own.

Are YOU holding your child back?

This trip my boys did something that made me very nervous and that they had never done before.  My husband let them ride the ski lift by themselves.  They are only 7 and 9.   I was so nervous.   I watched them ride up.  The lift is probably only 250 yards (remember we’re in North Carolina).   And guess what?  They made it up fine.  They also rode down all by themselves, got back in line and continued to do this for hours.

Are you holding back your child? Are you holding back your child?

While I was watching them it made me think, “I was holding them back”, my husband let them go and they succeeded.  If I had been out there, then I would have never let them do that.  What other things was I holding them back on?  Do they ask me to do things that I should let them do, but I say no because I’m nervous.  Are there things that I’m doing for them that they should be doing for themselves?

I decided right then that I was going to relax and let them do more things on their own.  You should have seen their faces when they came down that hill.  They were so proud of themselves.  There was no fear and they weren’t even thinking that they were going to get hurt or fail, I was the one thinking that.  So what if they fell getting off the chair lift.  How many people do that anyway?  If they mess up, they will learn to do it the right way.  I would have never let them go down the “big” hill.  They did though and did fine.  They fell and rolled around, but by the end of the day they figured it out on their own and accomplished the goal of going down without falling.  I am so proud of the hard work they put into that and not giving up.  I realized I was teaching them more by letting them try it and working it out themselves than by protecting them and saying no to them even trying!

I know my kids were proud of themselves that they accomplished that feat.  This will give them confidence in other areas of their life too.  I don’t want to teach my kids to be afraid to fail.  I want to teach them to try and if they fail, it’s okay, at least they tried!

Are you holding your child back?  I realized because I was scared I was stopping them from doing things they love and they could do on their own.

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Amy Kobos

Thursday 1st of June 2017

I see parents holding kids back a lot these days. I understand the fear, the nervousness... but we all have to just TRUST everything will turn out how it needs to. Holding kids back won't allow them to take risks, won't teach them how to face fear or do something "different." Sometimes, I've seen parents holding the kids back so much that the kids won't take risks out of fear they will displease their mom or dad. In the adultworld, we have to know how to be fearless, stand up for ourselves, go on a different path when something doesn't go as planned. We MUST be ready and confident that we know how to handle anything... :-) Thanks for this article!


Sunday 12th of April 2015

It can be hard to just let go, and let kids explore. I am guilty of holding mine back sometimes too. Thanks so much for sharing this!!

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Thursday 2nd of April 2015

Great article! I struggle with this too. Kids need independence but is it worth the risk of them getting hurt. My son started climbing HIGH playground slides at 1.5. My daughter was 3 and was scared of these slides. My heart would race and I was always below him watching but when he looked at me I always smiled and told him great job for the same reasons you said. I don't want to hold him back. Thanks for the great read! Callie

Janine Halloran

Wednesday 1st of April 2015

It's so hard to let go, but in the long run, it's better for our kids! They need to fail sometimes, and learn to figure it out. Thanks for linking up to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party. I have pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Board.


Tuesday 31st of March 2015

Shared in FB! Such a great message