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What can I do about my lying tween?

If you are a regular reader of my blog, then you’ll know I have a tween, actually 2!  When you have a tween things change.  You can be tricky and sneaky with younger kids, but when they start to grow up and want more independence, they start doing weird things.  One of these things is lying.

What can I do about my lying tween?

Tweens will lie about homework, who threw the granola bar wrapper on the floor, or taking out the trash.  Do they think they won’t get caught?

Here are the most common lies that I’m familiar with.

  • I didn’t hear you.
  • I didn’t think you wanted me to do that.
  • I was going to do it later.
  • I didn’t do it.
  • I did it already.

They aren’t anything major, but it’s still a lie and here’re a few suggestions to stop a lying tween.

  • If they lie about the Xbox or Playstation, then the punishment needs to be no video games.  Make the punishment have to do with something they are lying about.  If they are on their cell phone past bedtime, take away the cell phone for a couple of days.  They won’t like that.
  • Don’t over punish.  Save the big punishments for big offenses.  If they said they finished their homework, but they have a couple of problems left, then you’ll need a smaller punishment.  If you ground them for a week, then what are you going to do when something bigger happens.
  • Explain what would have happened if they told the truth.  What if they didn’t complete their homework and they told the truth?   What’s the worst thing that would have happen?  They would’ve to complete the assignment and that’s not really a big deal.  Now they’re in trouble for not finishing their homework AND lying.
  • Yes, you caught them once, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end.  They will do it again.  You need to stand by your punishments and stand strong .  Don’t give in when they start whining and complaining.  You will get very frustrated, but it will get better!  Keep your punishments consistent so they’ll know the consequences.

Good luck and let me know if you have any ideas I can add.

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Monday 18th of April 2016

My 12 year old lies about having brushed her teeth in the morning and will stick to it HARD even after I smell her "tooth paste less " breath. And her brush is dry!!?? I made a deal with her by saying if you tell me the truth , you can have your cell today, her repsponse was " well ok I lied " now I am pissed and hurt she would lie over something that she could've said she had forgotten to do .!????? Grrrrrrt..